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2019/07/07

Utsukushii Kare BLCD (review?? and feels)

Finally gathered my cluttered thoughts and feels to just write something about this beautiful drama CD. Also, putting my first nonsense cringey post hidden on spoilers just because... LOL




Okay, so where do I start? *cries* 😭😭😭
I already know I'm digging my own grave by listening to this after I've cried buckets of not-so-manly tears for Fruits Basket Ep.14, but well, I've already decided to make my precious weekend spent well with fandom thingies *cough cough* (Side rant: srsly I've been adulting so much WELP) and for sure if I delay listening to this, I won't be able to do it on weekworkdays and will long be buried deep down like most of the blcds on my pile of backlogs lol

So anyway, Utsukushii Kare...
Yet another masterpiece by Nagira Yuu-sensei, illustrated by Kasai Rikako-sensei and released way back 2014. When the BLCD news came, I was surprised albeit very happy that another Nagira Yuu novel will be turned into a BL drama CD. Bless Ginger Records. And like most of Nagira Yuu works... (war flashbacks of Chiru Chiru, Short Cake, Renai Zenya and Oyasumi Nasai... *cries*😭😭😭) I just know this one's going to be awesome and going to wreck me good. I haven't read the original novel... but damn now I want to! I know I just have to >< And gosh, the cast!!! It's the cast that made me even more happy. Srsly, OnoYuu and Souma are both on roll this year. OnoYuu especially... what's with the influx of blcds??? (not complaining tho, labyu 😘). Also, just really happy for another OnoYuu/Souma pairing~ (last one was way back 2015 www) The CD jacket itself is breathtakingly beautiful and just screaming its content is all worth the money 💸💸💸💸 LOL

※Disclaimer: this will be a post filled with spoilers so please, kindly proceed with caution.

※Plot/story...
Hira Kazunari (Ono Yuuki) is a gentle and kind (but creepy) dude suffering from kitsuon (dysphemia/stuttering). As a kid, he's used to being alone with no friends, just minding his own business and existing like he's invisible but this all changed when he entered high school and met Kiyoi Sou (Saitou Souma). He's deeply admired Kiyoi and soon started following him and even regarding him as his 'king'.

(Disc 1 is in Hira's point of view and is divided into two acts: high school and college period)

※Track 1
Track 1 opens during high school class introductions. So basically, upon seeing the beautiful Kiyoi doing his introduction, falls in love and develops a deep admiration for him. However, when it's his turn to introduce himself, he starts getting attacks of his kitsuon :'( We then get a flashback of Hira during his childhood days and how he's compared himself to a rubber ducky. He soon starts following Kiyoi and in turn became the lackey of Kiyoi's group, being the target of bullying. You know, the usual bullying (buying them food and drinks, doing errands for them etc.). He's even given the nickname of 'Hi-kun' and gets treated as their slave. Kiyoi, who has an ousama attitude, acts cold and a-holey towards him and is always calling him kimoi (creepy/disgusting). However, it's also only Kiyoi who from time to time shows him a little bit of kindness, even saving him from the bullying of another classmate and saving his contact details to his phone. This in turn just adds to his admiration for Kiyoi.

※Track 2
And so just another day of being a lackey. Hira has now regarded himself as the king's garbage (lol). After getting the group's order and buying them, Shirota (one of the bullies) says he doesn't have money to pay back like yesterday’s (which is not true of course. tsk, bullies) but Kiyoi instead gives him the money as payment-slash-reward. This act only strengthens Hira's feelings for Kiyoi and he's even collected things Kiyoi gave him. One day during summer vacation, he receives a text message from bully!Shirota to stake out and find a place for ten people to stay during a fireworks display event. Poor Hira, he's been staking out as early as 10 o'clock until dusk when Kiyoi appears (he's first to arrive), sits beside him and asks him why he's always staring at him lol Stuttering in his defence, he reasons out it's because Kiyoi is beautiful, in which Kiyoi replies that it's creepy (lolol) He then realizes that never once had Kiyoi called him 'Hi-kun' (he calls him 'omae' lol) ❤️ Others finally arrive but one bitch of a woman says it's hot so she wants kakigori (shaved ice) so the others then decide to check out the food stalls, leaving Hira alone again on the spot he saved for them :'( (srsly this poor boy *cry*)

※Track 3
Kiyoi joins a talent search contest and gets selected to compete for the next round. He then gets featured to a fashion magazine and Hira buys it and uses it as fap material (lol) So because Kiyoi’s getting busier with the contest, he cancels hanging out with his group and some other girls. After leaving, his ‘friends’ start badmouthing him, even saying that he only placed 8th etc etc which makes Hira a bit angry (but of course only to himself). Assholes decide to go to karaoke instead in which Hira replies he’s not going but then asshole says they’re not even inviting him 💢💢💢 He’s got no reason to join the group since Kiyoi isn’t there so Hira instead decides to just do his hobby of photography. While taking photos, he spots Kiyoi and follows him to a building with a dance studio and finds Kiyoi taking dance lessons. Kiyoi sees him though and tells him to wait for him over there. They go to a cafe after and Kiyoi asks why Hira was there. Caught off guard, Hira stutters to explain but Kiyoi tells him to take it slow, in which he just uses his phone to type what he’s about to say. Hira goes with the group to watch Kiyoi on the finals day of the contest. Kiyoi loses the final round though. He spots Kiyoi leaving while he’s getting drinks for the bully group and follows him to the bus station. He thought Kiyoi already rode the bus and runs only to find that Kiyoi didn’t leave. Kiyoi asks if Hira followed him to see how pitiful he is after losing the contest but Hira says he’s the most important and he loves him even to death. Kiyoi replies he hates him and leaves *sniffs*

※Track 4
So after Kiyoi's loss from the contest, he becomes the talk of the whole school and there's even an old clip from his younger days that circulated around the Internet. His bully group suddenly start targeting him as well but he just ignores it (for the meantime). Hira stalks follows him and they go to the empty music room where Hira takes photos of Kiyoi with his SLR (single lens reflex) camera. They have a small pep talk (lol); Hira explains stuff about his kitsuon and Kiyoi says sorry for not knowing it's a disability. Hirai tells Kiyoi he loves him and that he's beautiful while taking photos. He notices how beautiful Kiyoi's hand is and kisses it. Kiyoi asks if he's really a homo but he defends he only feels that way for him. Kiyoi tells him to stop calling him with "-kun" and just call him Kiyoi ❤️ And so the bullies strike again, this time instead of ordering Hira to get them drinks, they call for Kiyoi instead and Kiyoi's already 💢💢💢 mode so fistfight ensues. A few days after the fight, Kiyoi and Hira meet at the music room again. Kiyoi asks how's the photos Hira took and tells him not to use it for something perv (lol) but Hira slips he used it (as sidedish) for one time only LOOOOL Anyways, Hira again proclaims Kiyoi is his one and only king and that he really really loves him but then out of the blue, Kiyoi asks if he wants to kiss ❗❗❗❗ And they did❗❗❗ Well, just a peck??? But anyways, this is one of my fave scenes~ ❤️ Time skip and they become third year students, their groupie dissolves (since they're in different classes, thank god!), Hira once again becomes a loner; Kiyoi gets scouted to be a model and becomes busy with his modelling gigs so they don't see each other much. Graduation day, Hira thinks it's the last time he'll see and talk with Kiyoi. Kiyoi vaguely asks him if he has something to tell him, but as dense as this creepy little cinnamon roll is, Hira doesn't get it. Kiyoi kisses him one last time. Hira misinterprets the meaning of the kiss as Kiyoi's parting goodbye (he's dense af); his phone falls down to a puddle of water... and Hira just interprets it as fate telling him this is really the end for him and Kiyoi.

※Track 5
Hira soon becomes a college student and surprisingly, he blends well enough to the new environment. He joins a photography club and although he had a kitsuon attack during members' introduction, he felt at ease when Koyama, who's the same year as him, approaches and befriends him, telling him that his older brother also had kitsuon when he was a child so he can empathize with him. At some point in one of their conversations, Koyama learns about Hira's object of admiration and that it's actually a man and wonders if Hira swings the other way. He uses it as a chance to confess his own feelings for Hira though. He says he understands Hira's feelings for that person but he'll be happy if they start going out as well. Koyama invites him to a stage play and there he meets Kiyoi again... 💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭

※Track 6
After their brief reunion, Hira starts getting obsessed with Kiyoi again. At some point, Kiyoi clears it out with Koyama. Koyama then tells him although he understands that the guy he loves is Kiyoi, his feelings for him will stay and hopes for them to still be friends. Hira watches one of Kiyoi's show and after that, he gets a surprise when Kiyoi's the first one to approach and invite him.



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Ok, so I'm skipping the per track summaries for now.
I've lost count how many times I've listened to this CD already (lol) and I'm srsly still tearing up just hearing OnoYuu's stuttering 😭

The story is so beautiful, not perfect perhaps, but it definitely captures you to feel different emotions.

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